Last night, my son had an event at his school. Normally, he attends a martial arts class, but for this event, we decided to skip class. I invited his dad, since our arrangement is that his dad can have him on Thursday nights. I've had many reservations about inviting his dad to things, mostly because I think the only reason his dad (hereafter referred to as DBD) is involved with him is because he has to pay child support. DBD has never said that, but his lifestyle and attitudes really indicate that is exactly the reason for his involvement. It would take a miracle to convince me otherwise.

But back to the school event . . . now most open house type events are lame. You've got projects on display, hokey games, maybe a little food, teachers to talk to, etc. This one was no different. My son, (hereafter called DS), loves school, and he couldn't wait to show off. He was in his element of trivia and silly projects. Our first stop was the science fair to see his project. We already knew his project had been picked for the next level, and it was sitting on a table in the very front of the room, although we had to look for it for quite a while. DS was getting really hyper and annoying, not helped by the card he'd been given that could be entered in a drawing if he got 5 stamps. DBD just wanted to go and get the thing done with as quick as possible. He stood around with his hands stuck in his coat pockets, and occasionally, made some comment regarding art or how something worked. I could actually see disappointment in DS's eyes when DBD wouldn't let him participate in the fitness tests. It was fleeting, but it was clear DS was disappointed.

I really didn't think anything about it until we went for dinner afterward. Then I noticed how much DBD ignored DS when there was another adult around. He talked to me all through dinner, and pretty much ignored DS the whole time. He didn't even talk about things DS could participate in. I filed the info away.

He wouldn't leave when we got home. DS needed to be in bed, but he was still wound up from the event, and he wanted to show off all kinds of things to his dad. His dad was far more interested in telling me all about his job woes and how his work is so specialized that no one would hire him if the company had more than 50 employees. Seriously? I've worked at dinky companies and large companies, and I have to say I'll take the large ones any day. His current job is wanting him to relocate to Texas, and he basically told me that if he can't find another job, he'll have to relocate. I told him I wouldn't for anything, and said I would tell my boss that. However, he seems willing to end a relationship with his fiancee, her kids, and his son for a job. I realize jobs aren't falling off trees, but I'd work at a fast food place before I left the people I loved.

Thinking about it afterward, and still annoyed at his standoffish behavior and arrogance, I have to wonder if his work is really so specialized or if he's too much of a jackass to accept a position "beneath" him. He says he's a jack of all trades. In my mind that means lots of jobs to apply for, even if you have to take one that's not what you want. His definition is that he's pigeonholed into one type of job which is the only job he'll do, and his financial obligations mean that if he can't find other work, he has to move.

Thanks DBD for being a pompous, arrogant ass. I'm not going to be happy when you go traipsing off to another state. You won't get to see DS unless you come to us, because I don't intend to ship him down to you for the summer. Being a parent is about more than just doing whatever interests you with your kids. Sometimes you have to go to hokey school events. Sometimes you have to sit through 5 hours of martial arts testing. And sometimes, you have to make sacrifices, including taking a job that is "beneath you" in order to be with your family.